August 13th, 2012
Saturday morning, while my two kids were pillaging, scavenging and generally creating mass terror in their virtual worlds, I decided to take a few moments to myself, parked myself on the sofa and turned on the TV. Instead of tuning in to something relaxing or educational, I turned to some shopping channel and came across an infomercial for the Brazil Butt Lift. And watched it. The whole thing.
That’s not the worst of it. As soon as the infomercial finished, I turned on my laptop and ordered the damn thing. I know right? Like 50 shades of crazy.
If you haven’t heard of the Brazil Butt Lift, it’s an exercise program for your butt, created by Leandro Carvalho – think Brazilian Tony Horton or Billy Blanks. Yes, I have all their programs too (and then some). (Alright, I have direct line to Beachbody.)
These exercises are supposed to tone, shape, firm and raise your butt (up to 2” higher). What woman doesn’t want a firm, shapely bottom? All for only 3 easy payments of $19.95?
But I didn’t buy it for myself. No no no! It’s research. For you – my loyal audience. Who turns to me for guidance and wisdom and all things related to the eternal quest for Hotness.
So for the next 60 days I will squat, lunge, lift and raise. I will work hard and spend countless hours staring at my butt in the mirror. All under the guise of information gathering and education.
Because to admit that I purchased this program for any other reason than to contribute to the good of all womankind would mean that a) I have EISA (exercise infomercial shopping addiction), b) I live in some sort of delusional world where women need a plethora of exercise dvd’s to survive, or c) I really, really, really want a high rise ass.
Regardless, I will keep you posted, record my progress and let you know whether or not the Brazil Butt Lift is all it’s cracked up to be.
(Sorry – couldn’t help myself.)